Tag Archives: preschoolers say the darndest things

Life Isn’t Like the Movies, Especially When It Comes to Frogs

27 Apr

My frog puppet, Freddy, was demonstrating his excellent hopping skills. He just kept going, so I asked the kids how we could get him to stop.  One young man, holding his hand out as if he held a remote, said, “pause him.”

Oh, that only works in the movies.

Be Happy.

25 Apr

I was reading Big Frog Can’t Fit In by Mo Willems to a group of toddlers. We had arrived at the page where Big Frog’s friends are going to help her. “What should they do?” I asked.

“Help her,” an adorable little boy responded.

“Yes…,” I said…

“So she’ll be happy,” he continued.

Pause.

“Like me.”

……..

LOVE.

What Monsters Are Made Of

14 Apr

Today we were reading The Dark, Dark, Night by M. Christina Butler, in which frog discovers what he thinks is a pond monster.

I was informed of this by a young man: “Monsters are made out of costumes.”

I think he has a point.

I’m sure there are LOTS of things you can do better than Justin Bieber.

26 Mar

After storytime, a girl came up to me and said excitedly, “I’m going roller skating after school today!”

“That sounds like fun,” I replied.

“Yeah, but I have to ask my mommy and daddy first. Because you can’t go skating every day by yourself!” she said knowingly.

“That’s true.”

“I can skate really fast,” she said excitedly.

“Can you?” I replied.

“Yes. I can skate faster than a cheetah, and faster than Justin Beiber!”

Now I haven’t done an exhaustive search for information on Justin Bieber’s*skating skills, but I suspect she’s telling the truth.

*Yes, I did have to go back and correct the spelling of Justin BIEber’s name. And I’m not ashamed of that.

There is no downside.

14 Mar

We were reading Chris Haughton’s Little Owl Lost (one of my new

He's upside up!

favorites; I adore the color palette!). On the first page, we see Little Owl and his mommy in their nest in the tree, sleeping. There are no words on the page. I asked the kids: “what’s happening?”

Girl: “They’re sleeping upside-up.”

Of course. If there’s an upside-down, can’t there be an upside-up? Or is that downside-down?

Things I Never Thought I’d Say in Storytime #142

23 Feb

“If your shoes are going to talk during storytime then you’ll have to take them off.”

(She was wearing some kind of animal slippers and was making them talk to my puppet)

Eee Eee AAAAAHHHHHhhhh!

11 Jan

But...but I'm so CUTE!

Today, we were reading stories about dinosaurs. Many of which are posted here.

A young lady felt the need to inform us all of this: “My brother is scared of monkeys.”

Duly noted.

Your incredibly awesome word for today

30 Nov

I was telling (with flannelboard) the story of “Barnaby Bear’s Batter Bowl,” in which our hero, Barnaby, falls into his birthday cake batter bowl and is unable to get out. One by one, his friends join him and try and pull him out; to no avail. Finally, Mouse arrives, and wants to help too. The other animals tease him, saying he can’t possibly help because he’s too small. Mouse thinks, and comes up with the perfect solution: he crawls into the bowl, tickles Bear on the nose with his whiskers, and causes Bear to sneeze, thus blowing himself out of the bowl.

I asked the kids what they thought happened.

One young man answered: “He blesshooed!”

I do believe that word is a combination of “Bless You” and “Ah-choo.” And I’m going to begin using it in my daily conversation.

What is this, like, the 1950s?

17 Nov

Today in storytime we used my “Best Dressed Bear” flannel pieces to get bear ready for a party. I have pants, a shirt, socks, shoes, a jacket, hat, tie, and gloves.

He also has underwear,which I made for him due to popular preschooler demand (they kept telling me he had to put them on before pants).

Today, a young lady, responding to my question about what bear should put on before his pants, said this: “a girdle.”

Ahem…I believe the current correct term is “shapewear.”

I also had this priceless exchange with a young man:

Boy: “What are you? Like, a librarian?”

Me: “Yes, I’m a librarian! That’s exactly what I am!”

Boy: “I’m going to be a librarian when I grow up.”

Teacher: “I thought you said you were going to be a teacher!”

Boy: “I changed my mind.”

I WIN.

Ouch.

13 Oct

Today a young man told me that last night, he “had a heart attack in my knee.”

Whatever it is, it sounds painful. Sorry, buddy.  Tell your knee to cut out the salt and trans-fats.

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